“One Step Further”
A readers true story of Grief, Love, Courage and Inspiration.
We are delighted to come back with our True Story Tuesday's where we share real life stories of love, courage, comfort and inspiration. This week's story most certainly holds all of those ingredients and more.
Let me introduce you to Di Daynes, a truly loving and inspiring lady who's commitment to honouring the life of her soul mate and beloved partner has taken her not only to the deepest depths of grief but also the widest breadths of love, and an almighty journey across this country and beyond.
Di shared with us in her own words her experience and the project inspired along the way to help raise money and awareness to support The Brain Tumour Charity
I Lost my partner, my lover and my soul mate to a stage 4 brain tumour “Glioblastomas” aged 39 on 2nd may 2021.
Robbie's first diagnosis had been in June 2019 where they were able to operate and all seemed to have gone well and been successful. But, it had returned. Glioblastoma are aggressive and his was inoperable. Devastatingly after his confirmed diagnosis we only had 10 days together.
My world was ripped apart and everything stopped. Grief is real because loss is real, its a reflection of the connection that's lost and to deny that loss is to deny the love, so grief is a necessary step forward in the transition from death to life again.
“Life is like riding a bicycle , to keep your balance you must keep moving .”
Between 2019 and 2021 we were lucky to have spent a great deal of time as we were isolated due to covid. We hung out at my bungalow on shoreham beach, walking the beach regularly and even embarked on doing up the bungalow as we planned to live there together. We were removing walls, renovating rooms, tiling the bathroom and added a cosy log burner along with planning new outdoor living space to enjoy the sunshine of shoreham beach. It was domestic bliss.
Just before covid hit we had purchased a motor home together, who we named Colin after my late father. We managed to get Colin delivered but due to Covid travel restrictions it meant that we spent the first few months camping on our driveway. It was a great opportunity to work out how it all worked and we would have our own make believe traveling adventures in there with playing cards, watching movies and planning our trips.
We had planned for long Trips and tours through Cornwall, Dorset Wales Norfolk and the Lake District. Our shorter get aways locally were to include Chichester, Winchester, Battle and Kent.
Then Robbie was gone but I had to keep moving.
I knew he wouldn't want me to be miserable and unhappy because he brought life, love and laughter to this world, now I needed to grasp these lessons and live the life we had planned. I love to travel in Robbie's memory and honour, seeing all the places he would have enjoyed so much. My heart was broken but I had to continue on.
During my travels I have taken many photos of the beautiful world around us, feeling great comfort just being out in nature. I especially love being on or near the water and paddle boarding provides so much calm when your thoughts are crazy. It offers a real joy to see all the wildlife, feel the sunshine or wind on your face and to remind yourself that you are alive and need to take things one step at a time.
It happened quite by accident that I turned to taking so many pictures along the way but It was as though Robbie was with me and we were capturing it all together. As I was sharing my journey across social media so many people would comment and share how they loved the photos that were coming through and I thought why not make a calendar of them all and set it up in Robbie's honour for The Brain Tumour Charity, so this is how the first calendar came about
"One Step At A Time" was released last winter for 2023.
The calendar was a huge success and Colin and I were back on the road for more adventures this year. I needed to continue, I needed to create new memories, I needed to keep moving one step further and dip my toe in the pool of life, to live, to remember and honour love, to honour Robbie… and now all others who may be battling this horrible disease.
This year I had a new addition join me, my side kick Tinkerbell. So now it is me and Bella doing it together and this journey is
"One Step Further".
I continue to keep looking for the signs, I know Robbie is watching and I carry him in my heart as I embark on more journeys and adventures in Colin.
Di’s Other Healing Tools.
Di has managed to not only find an expressive and creative journey to healing that really is just part of it. As we know with anything it generally takes more than just one thing to keep the cogs turning and us moving forward. On Speaking with Di she shared some of her recommended good reads that really supported and helped her understand her grief. The first is Love Remains - A Guide Through Grief by Tracy Stone and the second On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.
Her other tools consisted of EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique which although Di says she found challenging it really helped as well as guided meditations to help with sleeping and anxiety.
To wrap up I would love to ask anyone who has resonated with this story, or anyone who would simply love to donate to a great cause please do head over to Di’s facebook page and purchase one of her very inspiring, very loving and very worthy calendars. On each month of 2024 as you turn your wheel of time you will also know that Di and others like her are moving “One Step Forward”
Di’s Facebook Page To Purchase Your 2024 Calendar For The Brain Charity Trust
On a very final note if you or others you care about are experiencing grief and feel you could benefit from some extra support please do head to our pages of The Holistic Directory. You could try EFT, or Grief Counselling to help.